


Living Healthy

by alynwa



Category: Boston Legal
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 22:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynwa/pseuds/alynwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan is unhappy with his appearance and Denny has just the solution. All BL characters belong to DE Kelley, all original characters are min.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Denny, I think we should start eating healthier," Alan declared one afternoon as he sat in Denny's office wiping his mouth with a napkin.

His best friend looked up wide-eyed from contemplating his twiddling thumbs that were firmly ensconced on his rather imposing paunch. "Why on earth would I want to do something like that?" Denny responded.

Alan waved his right hand over the remains of their lunch and said, "Look at what we just ate! Ham and cheese grinders, potato chips and soda!"

Denny licked his lips in remembrance, "And, it was good, too! I _love_ DiMaggio's sandwiches!"

Alan scooped up the remnants of their meal and dumped it into the wastepaper basket next to Denny's desk. "It _was_ good, but when you consider that for breakfast we ate bacon, eggs and toast dripping with butter for the fourth time this week and last night we ate filet mignon, baked potatoes _overflowing_ with butter and sour cream and asparagus smothered in Hollandaise sauce for the third time this week, even you have to admit: We could eat a healthier diet."

Denny snorted and stood up to stretch. "You sound like some kind of granola-eating Commie tree hugger! What's wrong with the good old American diet? I've been eating that way for years! I look good. Women like a man with girth. Denny Crane!"

Alan smiled as he watched Denny settle himself onto his couch in anticipation of a nap. "Denny, women _do_ like a man with girth, but usually not around his stomach, if you catch my drift. I'm not saying that we should become vegans. I'm saying we should be just a little more aware of what we're shoveling down our throats. How about for dinner tonight we have salad?"

Denny's face twisted into a look of total revulsion. " _Salad?_ What has gotten into you?" he sputtered. He leaned back and closed his eyes. "Salad," he repeated, "I don't need no stinkin' salad."

Alan started walking toward the door, "Oh, good," he said as he left, "so, you'll think about it?"

As they settled into their chairs and lit fine Cuban cigars, Denny watched Alan from the corner of his eye. He was obviously enjoying his routine of pulling in then blowing out smoke in long streams and circles. After one perfectly round circle, he smiled in self-satisfaction and leaned his head against the back of his chair. He was content to sit there thinking his smug Alan-thoughts in silence. Denny decided his best friend needed his chain yanked instead. "Maybe we should stop smoking cigars," he said.

Alan's head snapped up, "I'm sorry. What did you say, Denny?"

Denny leaned forward and repeated, "Maybe we should stop smoking cigars."

Alan's eyes widened. "Are you serious? Oh, wait. This is because I said we should eat a little healthier, isn't it?"

Denny chuckled quietly and sipped his drink. "You're the one who thinks we're unhealthy. Maybe we should come out here to drink water and suck Life Savers."

"Just because I think we could stand to lose a few pounds is no reason to go crazy, Denny. Too many changes at once shock the system. I say it's best to ease into healthier living slowly, so it will take. Food seems to me to be the best place to start."

Denny put his glass down, turned to face his younger colleague and pointed his cigar at him accusingly. "You didn't say anything before about losing weight!"

Alan colored slightly and muttered, "Well, would it be so bad if we were a little smaller?"

Denny leaned back in his chair and grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "You, my friend, have been busted! Don't bother denying it, either. What's going on?"

Alan sighed and nodded his head. "Alright, Denny. I do have an ulterior motive. I figured if I could convince you to start watching what you eat; it would help me stay on track."

Denny's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Are you…Are you trying to _diet_ , Alan?" When he got a silent nod in response, he exclaimed, "Since when do you care about diets and weight?"

Alan stood up and began slowly pacing back and forth in front of their seats. He said, "Since a couple of days ago. I was in court with Claire and when Judge Georges adjourned for lunch, we stepped into the hallway where she saw two attorneys that she knew from New York. Denny, both women were good-looking but, Cecily was positively _stunning_. Big, beautiful green eyes, red hair almost waist-length, a long lovely neck and _legs_ …Suffice it to say: I was smitten. The four of us decided to have lunch together. At one point, Claire and the other woman, Julie, were exchanging some information about hair salons or something, so I took the opportunity to ask Cecily out on a date. She turned me down flat."

Denny, who had been moving his eyes to follow Alan like a tennis ball during a match, blew smoke up into the air and said, "So? You've struck out before. What's the big deal? You always have a woman when you really want one."

Alan stopped pacing and looked out over Boston. "It's the _reason_ she turned me down, Denny. On our way back to CP&S after court, I mentioned to Claire that I found her friend very attractive. She cleared her throat and said that Cecily had told her about my asking her out and that she wouldn't go out with me because I'm too…" Alan mumbled the last word.

Denny leaned forward and said, "I didn't hear you. Too _what?_ "

Alan turned around and looked Denny in the eye, then looked down at his shoes. "Too fat," he repeated.

Denny snorted scornfully and said, "Fat? She's crazy! You're not fat!"

Alan sighed and said, "Actually, I started the holiday seasonal eating, drinking, and celebrating at Halloween. I noticed two months ago that some of my pants had gotten tight around the waist; if fact, some had become so uncomfortable that I took them to a tailor to be let out. I didn't think it was _that_ noticeable but after what Cecily said I thought about it and realized that the few dates I've had in the last two months have only been with women I already know. Every other woman I've approached to introduce myself and ask out lately has turned me down. I just thought it was a regular dry spell but, now I'm convinced I haven't met anyone new because I've gotten… "

Denny interjected, "Fat."

Alan crossed back over to his chair and sat down. "Exactly," he replied.

Denny shook his head and remarked, "You don't look fat to me so I wouldn't worry about it."

Alan pouted, "Well, I'm not trying to have sex with _you_ so I _am_ worried about it!"

Denny threw up his hands in mock surrender. "OK!" he said, "don't get upset. This is really bothering you, huh?"

Alan drained his glass and leaned back. "I never thought of myself as especially vain, but yes, this weight gain is a blow to my ego. Boston is going to be warm in a few weeks and I'm dreading taking off my overcoat. I don't feel attractive and I don't like it."

"Tell you what, Alan. We've got some vacation time coming. Let's take two weeks off and go to a fat farm!"

Alan looked skeptically at Denny. "A fat farm? You and me at a _fat farm_?" he asked laughingly. "Don't be ridiculous!"

But Denny was no longer listening to Alan. He started waving his cigar around as he mused aloud, "Yes, a spa! Not mine, people know me there. I'll find one in Arizona or New Mexico. One with great trainers, good food, and slightly chubby women wanting attention from men. From _me_! Maybe even a few willing sheep! It will be marvelous!" He then puffed on his cigar, closed his eyes at the pleasurable thought of it and blew out a stream of smoke and grinned. "Alan," he announced, "we're doing this! I'll make all the arrangements; you just clear your calendar."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

It took quite a bit of finagling on Alan's part, but he was able to clear his schedule for two weeks beginning the following Friday. Carl hadn't been too pleased to find out that he and Denny would be out of the office for two weeks, but he relented once Alan reminded him that he had just earned the firm four million dollars in commission for a wrongful death case and had, to quote Shirley Schmidt, "landed a whale" in the shape of a former reality show rock star's wife who was now slapping _him_ with the reality of an extremely contentious divorce proceeding that had the potential of earning the firm a few more millions. The soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Rock Star was assigned to Jerry Espenson and Katy Lloyd, who he knew were more than capable of doing what needed to be done to get a favorable outcome and besides, Jerry knew he was only a phone call away if they needed his input.

Denny, true to his word, took care of all the arrangements. Friday morning, they boarded his Gulfstream and flew to Tucson, Arizona where they were met by a limo that drove them approximately twenty miles to the Flor Del Desierto Spa and Resort, nestled in the shadows of the Santa Catalina Mountains. The receptionist welcomed them warmly and once they were checked in, she told them that orientation for new guests would be that evening at 7PM in the auditorium. Until then, they were told to please feel free to explore the grounds and take advantage of the literature in their room to garner information about "Flor Del."

When the bellhop opened the door to their room, Alan stepped in first, looked around and just shook his head in wonder. The bellhop, Richie according to his nameplate, inquired, "Is there anything else I can do for you, gentlemen?"

Denny pulled out his wallet and tipped him while saying, "No, no, we're fine. Thank you." After the young man left them alone, Denny looked at Alan and asked, "So, what do you think? You like it?"

Alan smiled broadly. " _Like_ it? It's bigger than my hotel room. I _love_ it!"

Denny had booked them into what the spa called a "Chairman of the Board" suite which was approximately 1300 square feet of pure luxury. It contained two extra large Queen-sized beds, a fireplace, a living room, dining room, and a Jacuzzi. There was an obscenely large flat screen TV mounted on a living room wall, super thick cotton bathrobes hanging in the closet and a coffee maker on the kitchen counter along with complimentary bottles of water in the refrigerator. But, the amenity that made Alan's heart soar was outside. From the bedroom, one could step through sliding glass doors onto a private patio that had two chairs, a table between them and an unobstructed view of the surrounding mountains. Alan gasped, "Is this why you decided to book us into this place, Denny? This is magnificent!"

The entire time Alan was exploring their temporary home away from home, Denny was watching him like a parent watches his child open Christmas presents. Even before Alan had said anything, Denny knew he was delighted. Alan was a high-income earner when they met and, thanks to a successful lawsuit and Alan coming to Crane Poole and Schmidt, he had become a rich man. Denny, on the other hand, not only was a rich man in his own right, earning more than two million dollars a year at CP&S, he was born into wealth and thus, had inherited money several times in his life. One of the joys of his life was showing his younger best friend who, in many ways, still saw himself as a blue-collar guy who got lucky, how the "haves" of American society play. "No," he answered, "I booked us here because they allow alcohol. The patio was a bonus."

At 6AM their first morning there, Alan was sitting on the edge of his bed in sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt tying his sneakers and wondering what he had gotten himself into. When Denny found out in orientation that people is Alan's age group would be hiking mountain trails every morning at 7 after eating breakfast at 6:00, he disabused Alan of any notion of sharing a bed with him. Denny was the oldest person and only male in his age group, which consisted of seven "ladies who lunch," all in their late 60s and him. _His_ day started with breakfast at 7:30 followed by water aerobics in the heated pool at 8:30AM. He saw no reason to be disturbed more than necessary by Alan's early rising despite Alan's protests.

" _Denny, come on! It's a strange bed in a strange room! I won't be able to sleep and the Exercise Police will force me to march anyway. And, what if I have night terrors?"_

_Denny had been unmoved. "One, just a few hours ago, you loved this room and thought it was comfortable and homey. Two, I'm in the next bed like I've been tons of times before; so for you to act like you can't sleep unless I'm physically touching you is silly and three, if you have a night terror and run outside, you can't fall to your death; we're on ground level. You'll just be eaten by coyotes."_

_The mention of wild animals had made Alan nervous, "That's not funny, Denny! You know nature scares me."_

_Denny had burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, Alan, I was just kidding. Seriously though, I got 'come hither' looks from three of the women in my group and I plan to bed at least one of them before our two weeks are up. So, forget about sleeping with me and get used to the idea that you will probably be out of the_ room _sometime in the near future so I can entertain."_

Alan stood up and stretched. He was certainly used to being awake this early; hell, he was used to being in the office earlier than this sometimes. He just wasn't sure about this whole exercise business. He looked over enviously at his best friend who still snored lightly; though by the sound, he knew Denny would be waking up shortly. _Well, I'm the one who wanted to lose weight in the first place, so, here goes._

Alan walked the short distance to the dining room in the pre-dawn light. _It really is breathtaking out here_ , he thought. The spa dining room, called _Desierto_ _Resplandor_ (Desert Glow) was a beautifully appointed space with lots of windows, a Southwestern color scheme with tables covered in dusty rose and mauve tinted linen table cloths. Even though he was early for breakfast, several of his group members were already there. They waved and he went to join them.

"Good morning, all."

Some of the group smiled and returned his greeting. Others looked like they could have used another hour's sleep. A server emerged from the kitchen with menus for all of them and asked if anyone wanted tea or water. "We don't serve coffee here at Flor Del . If you brought your own, you are welcome to use the coffee makers in your suites."

Marie, who had told them last night she was from New York City, exclaimed, "Are you _kidding_ me? I didn't know that! Aww, this is going to be _torture_!"

That caused a little bit of an uproar until Alan reasoned, "Well, we all knew things would be different. Let's give this a chance. We can always riot later." That brought a laugh and things calmed down again.

He had met everyone the night before in orientation. His age group was actually the largest; twenty-two forty-somethings all intent on being whipped back into the shape they were, or _thought_ they were, when they were thirty-somethings. The group was so large; in fact, they were going to be divided into two separate hiking teams. There were nineteen women and three men. Ray was married to Edie and Hank was married to Jean. Alan and the remaining seventeen women were all single. _Well,_ he thought, _Edie and Jean are definitely off-limits. I refuse to fool around with a married woman like Denny did at the dude ranch. That little dalliance of his almost got us_ both _jailed. I'm declaring everyone else in play._ He sat down between Rhonda and Ginny, friends from Chicago. Rhonda was the taller of the two with a little bit of a beer gut and cropped brown hair. Ginny, the blonde, had told the group during the introductions that she was there to address her "thunder thighs." Alan had thought at the time that her view of her body was distorted; it was quite fetching in his opinion. "So, ladies," he began, "what are you thinking of having for breakfast?"

Rhonda grunted in reply and buried herself deeper in the menu. She was obviously not a morning person. Ginny was much friendlier and replied, "I was thinking about the oatmeal and banana. This hike is supposed to last an hour and I think something filling would be best. What do you think?" she asked, turning large, luminous brown eyes devoid of makeup to him.

 _She's cute,_ Alan decided and said aloud, "I think I'll have what you're having."

Gary and Sandy, the trainers they met last night, popped into the dining room just as folks were finishing breakfast. At least they "popped" in Alan's mind. _These people are way too perky for 6:50 in the morning._ Both were wearing light grey sweatpants with "Flor Del " printed in large letters across their butts in navy blue and navy blue hoodies with a desert flower of some sort printed on the back.

Sandy bounded to the front of the room. "Good morning, people! OK, it's time for our nature hike! Everyone line up against that wall! Perfect! Great! Now count off, one, two, one, two!" Alan saw which way the wind was blowing and made sure he was one person away from Ginny. When the count-off was finished, he, Ginny and the rest of the Twos were moved over to stand with Sandy. Rhonda, thankfully, was with Gary and the rest of the Ones.

Gary moved to a position between the two groups. "Listen up, people!" he said. "This morning we are taking a three mile hike. Sandy's group will go in one direction while mine heads in the opposite direction. The first group back will get a special treat. If both groups are keeping a good pace, we'll be passing each other about midway through the trail. We have water here so each of you should pick up a bottle to carry. Are there any questions? Yes, Alan is it? You have a question?"

"Yes. Did you say _miles_? I was hoping we would start with something a little more reasonable, like _yards._ Isn't this only supposed to be an hour's walk? How long is this going to take?"

Gary smiled indulgently, "A brisk three mile walk _should_ only take about an hour. Don't worry, you'll be fine. If there are no other questions, let's move out!"

Denny was in the middle of a fabulously relaxing massage when his roommate stumbled into their suite looking like he was on his last legs. He told the masseuse, Therese, to stop then sat up to watch Alan flop across his bed and groan loudly. "Alan? What's the matter?" he asked with more than a little concern in his voice. The younger man was sweating profusely and his face was red from exertion.

"Denny," he gasped, "I thought I was going to die! Let's go home! I'll adjust to being fat. Fat can be sexy!" Denny asked the woman to please get his friend a glass of water. Alan gulped down half the glass like he hadn't had water in days. After a moment, he was able to compose himself. He leaned on his elbows and said, "It was OK at first. The ground was level and I was having a 'getting to know you' conversation with this woman named Ginny. But after about twenty minutes, we started walking up an incline and my legs started to protest. I couldn't talk to Ginny anymore. I was too busy trying to get air into my lungs. And, did you know _there's no shade out there_? It got so hot so fast. I drank all of my water before we were halfway finished. No one would share. They're all mean, Denny! Ginny was ahead of me. Almost _everybody_ was ahead of me. Our leader, Sandy, kept coming back exhorting me to move faster and keep up. I swear, if I had had one of your guns, I would have shot her. She would have been _history,_ Denny! Just before I got to the halfway mark, I could see Gary's group heading toward me. When Gary saw me, he felt obligated apparently to tell me that everyone in the group has to cross the finish line in order for that group to win and at the rate I was going, his group would finish up first. I told him to eat worms and die."

Denny rolled his eyes and laid back down as he motioned for Therese to resume his massage. "So, now we know that strenuous exercise makes you immature and cranky. Sex can be strenuous. Are you _sure_ the reason women don't want to have sex with you is because you're fat?"

If looks could kill, Denny would have rolled off the massage table stiff with rigor mortis from the death stare Alan gave him. Instead, Denny just laughed and said, "Oh, lighten up, you big girl. Obviously, you didn't die out in the desert under an unrelenting sun, so what happened when you got back?"

"Both groups met up back at the cafeteria. I was hoping for something a little more substantial as a snack but, all we got were fruit smoothies and as a treat for finishing first, Gary's group got a raisin and fruit compote with their drink. Sandy told me not to feel too bad about being the last one to cross the finish line. I told her that of all the things I was feeling, 'bad' was not one of them. Hungry, yes. Tired, yes. Bad for making us miss out on dried grapes and cooked fruit? Not even close. She just smiled, patted my arm and told me that once I become accustomed to the hike, I will feel better. I think I hate her, Denny. We were dismissed to go shower and change for meditation class. We're going to 'explore our spiritual side.' That starts at 10 o'clock. I think the rest of my group will be meditating while I'll be asleep sitting in a lotus position. How are you getting along here? It would seem your morning is going much better than mine I should stop whining, shouldn't I?"

Denny grunted as the masseuse worked his muscles expertly. "Yeah, I was about to tell you to shut up. Alan, there is something to be said about being a senior citizen in this place. My group's trainers are more interested in our overall well-being than goal-driven weight loss. Whatever we lose is fine; we're focused on flexibility. The ladies in my group and I had a wonderful breakfast of banana pancakes along with a frito made with zucchini. I was reluctant to try it at first but, when I did, it really was quite tasty."

Alan's face showed confusion at first but, then he figured it out, "Frittata," he interpreted.

Denny looked up, "What?"

Alan repeated, "Frittata, not frito."

Denny rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever. Anyway, after breakfast we went to the pool and did water exercises for an hour. After that, we were told by our trainer that we're on free time until 2PM. The women decided they wanted to be pampered so, they went for facials, manicures and pedicures in the salon. I decided it was a perfect time for a little pampering for me as well so, here I am. After this, I'm going to take a stress reduction class."

Alan finally dragged himself from his bed and headed to the bathroom. "You look pretty stress-free to me now, but what do I know," he grumbled as he went through the door. Denny chuckled softly and went back to concentrating on his massage.


	3. Chapter 3

Today was the day. Anyone looking at Alan would have thought him calm and collected, but inwardly, he was anxious and excited. He and Denny had been guests of Flor Del  for a week. And every day for that week, Alan had hiked, biked, meditated and sweated. He had endured stretching classes, abs and glutes toning classes, and fat-free cooking classes. He had been fed miniscule servings of food he liked and large servings of food he didn't like. All of it leading to this: Weigh-in Day. The day that would tell him if he was on the right track or just wasting his time.

Denny opened his eyes and stretched luxuriously in his bed. He looked over at his roommate who was already dressed and checking out his reflection in the mirror. "So,' he yawned, "what time is the Big Moment?"

Alan was looking over his shoulder at his behind. "We're getting weighed in the Fitness Room before breakfast; in about 20 minutes. Sandy is going to measure our waistlines, also. Denny, does my butt look big in these sweatpants?"

Denny rolled his eyes and remarked, "Alan, don't worry about it. You've lost weight. Trust me. And no, your butt looks fine. I can't believe you asked me that or, for that matter, that I answered you. Our next vacation has got to be hunting or fishing or _something_ manly!"

"It is a myth that a truly masculine male doesn't give a whit about his appearance. I consider myself _quite_ the man and I do care how I look." Denny opened his mouth to say something smart only to earn a glare, a finger pointing at him and a "Shut up, Denny". Still looking over his shoulder, Alan questioned, "Really, Denny, what have you done since we've been here that's so 'manly' that you feel you can cast aspersions at me?"

Denny smiled like the cat that ate the canary. "I got laid," he divulged. "Twice."

Alan, his reflection and butt forgotten, turned and stared at him. " _What?_ Get out of town!" he replied in shock, "When? Where? Who?"

Hefting himself up so that he could lean against the headboard, Denny made a show of inspecting his perfectly manicured nails for a few seconds. "Well," he started to recount, "Wednesday and yesterday while you were taking Pilates and yoga, right here in this room and with Margaret and Giselle from my group. Separately, of course."

"Denny, I bow to you," Alan marveled, "I thought _I_ was a slut. Now, I find out that not only are _you_ a slut, you are _the_ slut. I didn't even have a clue…"

"Because you weren't looking for one, my friend. I suggest you head on over to the Fitness Center. It's time for your weigh-in."

The weigh-in had already started when Alan entered the Fitness Room. One by one, each member of his group walked the short distance to where Sandy and Gary stood next to the scale; Gary with a clipboard and Sandy holding a tape measure. The clipboard held their original weigh-in weights and measurements so that an immediate side by side comparison could be made. Blessedly, this weigh-in was like the first one: Each group member was weighed and measured and given the results privately and it was up to the individual whether or not to share with everyone else.

Ginny was the fourth person called. She marched up like she was on her way to her own execution and stepped on the scale. She watched closely as Gary slid the pieces back and forth as he worked to balance it. Finally, he arrived at the number that balanced the scale. Ginny peered over his shoulder as he wrote it down next to her first number and smiled broadly. She gave a thumbs-up to Rhonda and Alan. When Sandy finished measuring her, she walked over to them and announced that she had lost four pounds and an inch from her waist.

"I'm thrilled with that but, I really wanted to get my thighs smaller and that didn't happen."

Alan inspected Ginny's legs with an appreciative eye and commented, "Your legs are quite well proportioned in my estimation. I'm sure you'll see the progress you want in our final weigh-in next week. Don't you agree, Rhonda?"

Rhonda nodded her head and said, "He's right, Gin. We have another week. Don't worry about it. Alan, why don't you go next?"

Alan shifted uncomfortably and glanced at Rhonda's face and replied, "Ladies first, Ronnie. Please."

Rhonda glared and said, "First of all: Don't call me Ronnie. Second, I was the first one to get weighed and measured. So, it's all you, Alan. Oh, and in case you were curious, I lost five pounds and a total of one and a half inches from my waist and upper arms."

Alan snarked, "How wonderful for you," then walked to the weighing station. When he stepped on the scale, Gary began expertly moving the weights and when the bar was balanced perfectly, he wrote Alan's weight down on the clipboard. He passed it over to Alan so he could see his numbers. "I've lost six pounds? Is that right?" When Gary nodded, Alan smiled broadly and moved confidently to where Sandy stood with the dreaded tape measure.

"Congratulations, Alan! You've lost two inches total; one and a half from your waist and a half-inch from your hips," Sandy announced. "If you keep up your routine, I expect you will get your waist back to pre-holiday size by next Friday. Good work, I'm proud of you."

Alan stood up a little straighter. "Thank you, Sandy," he crowed, "I, too, am a little proud of myself. And, I hope you didn't take all the dirty looks and hatred I threw your way all week personally."

She laughed and gazed at him with lovely hazel eyes. "I'm used to it, trust me. You're not the first guest to wish death upon me and you definitely won't be the last. But," she looked Alan up and down appreciatively, "once people start seeing results, they fall in love with me."

"Well, I'm not in love, Sandy, but consider me at your disposal if you want to be in lust with me," he said slyly and winked at her. Her smile faded as she stared after him and wondered if she should be offended. He then went back to where Ginny and Rhonda were still sitting. He got a cup of water from the cooler then sat down and asked Ginny, "Rather than sit here and watch the rest of the group get weighed and measured, why don't we celebrate our weight loss by going to the masseuse's office and scheduling a couple's massage for after our hike today? We have Free Time from 9AM until the 2PM Light Cooking class. I think a massage would be," he took Ginny's hands in his, "quite relaxing."

Rhonda, who had been sitting quietly listening, reached over to remove Alan's hands and place them on the table. She purred, "I agree, Alan, that a couples massage would be a great way to celebrate our achievements. That is why _I_ booked a massage for Ginny and me."

Ginny smiled apologetically at Alan and said, "I thought you knew. We introduced ourselves together at the orientation."

Alan glanced back in Sandy's direction and saw her smile in satisfaction. Alan shrugged his shoulders. "I heard you and I didn't hear you. I'm usually not that obtuse, but in my defense, I was feeling a little out of my element and unsure of myself that evening so I was distracted. Forgive me, Rhonda, it was not my intent to try to come between you. Now, if you ladies will excuse me, Sandy said yesterday that we could hike the trail alone after weigh-in today, so I'm going to start hiking now. As he walked out of the Fitness Center and started on the trail, he thought, _Well, that was a waste of a week's flirtation! Denny's practically getting laid at will and I'm trying to pick up lesbians._ _Way to go, Shore, way to go._

By the time, Alan returned to their suite, Denny had already dressed and gone. Not wanting to have a massage alone, he decided to celebrate his impressive weight loss by treating himself to a scotch on the patio. Even though it was only mid-morning, he figured he deserved it because he had not had one sip of liquor nor a puff off a cigar since arriving despite keeping Denny company while he did. He stripped and entered the shower, turned all four showerheads on full blast and let the water rinse away all the dust, sweat and fatigue. After a few moments, he washed his hair and scrubbed himself rosy. He dried off and put on off-white linen slacks and a sky-blue short-sleeved cotton shirt. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass and poured himself two fingers of scotch. As he turned to go back to the bedroom, he noticed Denny's humidor on the dining room table. _Why not?_ he thought and reached in and pulled out a Cuban. Thus armed for his private party, he entered the bedroom and stepped through the sliding doors onto the patio where he settled into a chair and proceeded to contemplate the beauty of the mountains in the distance.

He didn't even hear Denny come into the bedroom. When Denny noticed Alan was outside, he tapped on the door's glass and had to choke back a laugh when Alan nearly jumped out of his skin. He opened the door and asked, "Mind if I join you?"

Having regained his composure after being startled, Alan smiled. "Of course not, Denny." He stood up and moved to the other chair so Denny could have the one closest to the door.

"You seemed deep in thought. Want to share?"

"I was just allowing myself time to enjoy nature's beauty. I've been so focused on getting in shape that I really hadn't paid attention to how the mountains look. I'm…humbled by their size and majesty." He smiled and held out the cigar and glass he held in both hands. "These are my celebratory indulgences for having lost, are you ready? Six pounds!"

Denny grinned broadly and fist-pumped, "Yes! I am so proud of you! By this time next week, you'll be beating women off with a stick!"

Alan almost spat out his scotch. "I wouldn't go _that_ far, Denny! Let's just say I'll be in even better shape. By the way, remember that woman I was telling you about, Ginny? It seems she is involved with her roommate, Rhonda. They've been an item for some time, apparently."

Denny's eyes widened. " _Lesbians?_ You lucky dog, you! Are they coming here? Can I stay and watch?"

"Calm down, Denny, there'll be no threesomes with lesbians happening. Ginny is not interested in me, at all. I misjudged that entire situation. The ironic part is: I think Sandy, my trainer, was interested in me, but I shot her down so I could go talk to Ginny. She may even have seen Rhonda, the roommate, warn me off Ginny so I wouldn't feel right coming on to her now; it would be obvious that she was second choice." He sighed and blew fragrant smoke into the air. "I blew it."

"So. What are your plans for the rest of the morning?"

"I thought I would spend my Free Time with you. Watch some TV, have lunch…What is it?" Alan had noticed Denny squirming in his chair.

"Well, normally I would love to, Alan, but I told Dorothy that you would be out until the afternoon and she'll be here any minute. So, please leave."

" _What?_ Who's Dorothy?"

"She's the third woman in my group who gave me a 'come hither' look. Now, go do something, Alan! I'll see you later."

Alan finished his drink in one swallow and handed his cigar to Denny to smoke. He stood and shook his head slowly in amazement. "Wow. Here I've been languishing on the dating vine for _months_ and you're just being a social, sexual whirlwind. I stand in awe!"

"Say my name, Alan."

"Denny Crane! There is none better!"

Denny stuck the cigar in his mouth and ushered Alan out the door. "Start spreading the news!"


	4. Chapter 4

Stung by the whole Ginny/Rhonda/Sandy debacle and inspired by Denny Crane, the Senior Citizen Love Doctor of Flor Del, Alan threw himself into his fitness regimen over the course of the next week. Not only did he do the morning hike with his group every day, he even managed to walk the trail two evenings when the days had cooled down. He increased his water intake and started doing some stretching exercises in the evening before retiring for the night, much to his roommate's amusement.

" _Alan, my lad," Denny had said the first time Alan had begun doing isometrics as they watched a movie, "don't hurt yourself."_

" _Don't worry about me," was Alan's reply, "You may be getting the girls now, but I will be in great demand once we get home! Of that, have no doubt, my friend."_

Thursday evening, Denny and Alan sat on their patio watching the sky and the mountains change colors as the sun set. Denny had his usual scotch and cigar while Alan sipped on a glass of club soda flavored with slices of lemon and lime. Frowning at the glass in the younger man's hand, Denny remarked, "So, is that it, then? No more scotch?"

Alan shook his head and laughed softly. "Not to worry, Denny. I'll be back to my scotch drinking and cigar smoking self when we go home. I just don't want to be counter-productive. As much as I enjoyed that scotch and cigar I had last Friday, I am determined to keep my weight loss going. I have to admit, when you first suggested a fat farm, I was skeptical, but I have learned a lot since coming here. I thought I would have to give up everything I enjoy, but I just have to pay attention to how much I'm eating and drinking." He turned to gaze at the mountains as they slowly faded from sight. "What travel arrangements did you make?"

Denny stood and stretched. "A car will take us to the airport at 11. Steve and Cody said they expect to have the pre-flight check completed and the flight plans filed for a noon departure. That should get us back to Boston by 9:30PM Eastern Standard Time. I have to say, Alan, I'm going to miss this place."

"I guess you will! You've had more ass here than a toilet seat."

Denny grimaced, "You can be so crude, sometimes. You're _right,_ but crude." Denny snapped his fingers as a thought occurred to him. "Alan, how about we make this an annual thing? So we can tone up after the holiday season and gear up for The Removal of the Coats in the spring?"

Alan raised his glass. "I'll drink to that! That's a splendid idea, Denny." He drained his glass. "I'm finished drinking, but do you want another?"

"No, thanks. I think I'm going to go put on my pajamas, climb into bed and watch a movie. I brought 'Tombstone.'"

That brought a smile to Alan's face. "Tombstone? That's my _favorite!_ I think I'll join you." Alan froze halfway out of his seat. "Unless, you have one of your lady friends coming for a visit."

"No, no, it's just us tonight. In fact, you can sleep with me, if you'd like."

The end credits began rolling. The two friends were propped up against Denny's headboard with an empty bowl that had contained air-popped, butter-free popcorn between them. Alan grabbed the bowl and set it on the dresser while Denny turned off then removed the DVD from the player and placed it back in its case. They both climbed into bed at the same time. Denny settled in while Alan turned off the lamp then moved to snuggle against the older man's body. He fully anticipated this being the best night's sleep of his stay. The room glowed with moonlight. "Denny?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you."

"Don't be silly. You knew you'd be sleeping with me again."

"I didn't mean that, but thanks for that, too. I mean, thank you for this," he said as he waved his arm around the bedroom. "This trip, this place, everything. I was feeling dejected and depressed before we came here."

"Are you getting ready to be sentimental? Because, you know how I feel about that sort of thing."

Alan laughed, "Yes, I know and no. Well, maybe a little. Denny, you just don't know how much your friendship means to me. You did all of this because you wanted to make me feel better and if I didn't lose an _ounce,_ this trip would still be a success for me because you cared enough about me and my self-esteem to do this. I'll never forget it."

Denny grunted gruffly in response even though he was touched. He squeezed Alan tightly in a one-arm hug and said, "You're welcome, my friend. Good night."

Friday morning was a treat for Alan's group because since it was to be a travel day, there was no 7AM hike. The final weigh-in wasn't nearly as nerve-wracking as the first. For one thing, besides the fact that it was being held at 9AM so everyone was able to sleep a little longer if they so chose to do so, Alan _knew_ he had lost more weight. For another, he was no longer concerned about impressing Ginny and he was never really interested in Sandy sexually, anyway. Despite his earlier concern that he had alienated her, she had, in fact, continued to deal with him in a professional and friendly manner all week. And finally, Denny had accompanied him to the weigh-in after introducing Alan to his group mates and saying his goodbyes.

When it was his turn, Alan walked over to the scale, got on and stood quietly while Gary adjusted the weights to balance it. "Excellent, Alan!" he said, "You've lost another four pounds."

Alan smiled, shook his hand and said, "Good-bye and thank you for your help." He stepped down from the scale and moved to where Sandy was standing with her tape measure.

She took his measurements efficiently then said, "Congratulations, Alan. You have lost a total of two and a half inches from your waist, an inch and a half from your hips and a half inch from each thigh." She looked up at him and smiled. "If you continue to control your portion size, remember to drink as much unadulterated water as you can and use the stairs sometimes instead of the elevators all the time, you should be able to maintain what you've accomplished here and probably drop some more weight, though not as fast."

Alan shook her hand. "Good-bye and thank you, Sandy. For everything, even that little slice of humble pie you served me last week."

She laughed and said, "You're very welcome! I would suggest that the next time you visit, you listen to each person's _entire_ introduction."

"That is definitely advice I intend to follow. I'd like you to meet my best friend." She walked with him to the table where Denny sat drinking a cup of tea. "Sandy, this is my friend, Denny. He's the one who convinced me to come. Denny, this is my trainer, Sandy." Denny put his cup down and started to rise.

"Oh, please don't get up, Denny. It's so nice to meet you. Have a safe trip home and I hope we have the pleasure of you company again." With that, she went back to the front of the room to measure the next person.

"She's cute, Alan, too bad you blew it with her. Did you lose any more weight?"

"I did, Denny, four pounds more. I'm about ready to blow this Popsicle stand, though. Let's go finish packing."

Steve's voice came across the public address system. "Gentlemen," the pilot said, "we are approximately forty-five minutes away from Logan International. Dave is aware of our arrival time so he should be there when we land. The weather is clear ahead of us and I don't anticipate any delays or turbulence. Enjoy the rest of the flight. Steve out."

Denny had been asleep but, had awakened to Steve's announcement. He looked over at Alan who was reading Sarah Vowell's _The Wordy Shipmates_. "Alan, are you going to find Cecily and ask her out again?"

Alan placed his bookmark and closed the book. "Absolutely not! I can do _much_ better than her now. She blew it."

Denny laughed out loud. "Sounds like someone feels attractive once again. Not that it ever mattered to me. I love you no matter what you look like."

"Which is why I'm spending the weekend with _you_ , Denny, instead of flaunting my new body around Boston. Monday is soon enough for everyone else to see the new me."

"I knew it! Every time I tell you I love you, you want to sleep over!"

Alan grinned inwardly because they both knew that was exactly why Denny said it. They smiled at each other then settled back in their seats for the remainder of the flight.


End file.
